treat her right and avoid the stink eye
Ah Valentine’s Day; a day that can easily be the most hated or loved day of the year. Your actions on this day could lead to a very rewarding experience, or they could lead to an untimely D-O-O-M. To avoid such a fate take note of these Do’s and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day.
Do
1. See Valentine’s Day coming – First and foremost, let me state that if you do not know what day Valentine’s Day is… jump off a building now (especially you guys who are already in relationships)! I know it may be hard for some of us to think in advance about things that don’t seem to directly benefit us, but let’s face it guys… Valentine’s Day isn’t about us. A good preemptive attack is the key to best any foe, so why should this day be any different?
Good Preparation + 15 points
2. (gasps) “You made me BREAKFAST!!” – A man who does not know how to cook is likely not to survive in this day in age. Set your alarm an hour earlier and get in the kitchen like Aunt Jemima. Even if the meal turns out to be sub-par you still win and she will give you an A for effort.
Real Men Cook + 10 points
3. Special delivery – I work in an office setting and have witnessed the effects of having gifts delivered to your job. Not only will your girlfriend/potential girlfriend get a chance to boast about how wonderful you are for being so thoughtful, it will also arouse a nice air of envy in the office among her female cohorts.
Inspire Jealousy +10 points
4. Wine & dine at home – I would suggest this option over dining out simply because (a) you won’t have to worry about her getting googly eyes from anyone, (b) you will be in a more intimate setting and (c) there won’t be any lag time between the meal and “dessert.”
You are the Waiter +20 points
5. Get the bath water running & the candles burning – At some point near the end of the meal, you should excuse yourself and run her a bath (don’t forget the bubble bath stuff because a bath with just water would be ,well, dumb) and light some scented candles. There isn’t much more that needs to be said at this point; you should know where things will go from here…
Cupid?? + 50 points
Don’t
1. Don’t buy the first gift you see in the store– If you are one of those guys who is always on the go or doesn’t put much effort into looking for a gift, I am talking to you. Places like Wal-Mart and Target will have a plethora of value items on shelves near the entrances, but buying these items will guarantee you the stink eye.
Putting no thought into a gift -25 points
2. Don’t take her somewhere that would be fun for you – Remember this day isn’t about us, so don’t plan an evening like you would be going out with the guys. That smoky bar or that buffet you love so much isn’t going to cut it.
My Fun is Your Fun -15 points
3. Don’t make it a group thing – This should be self-explanatory. How can you make your special someone feel like she is the most important thing if you have extra people to entertain?
Group Mentality -15 points
4. Don’t repeat a previous Valentine’s/Birthday/Other Special Occasion –To do this would be completely lame…with a capital pathetic. Women are all about moments and how special they are. Sweet 16th Birthdays, Proms, Weddings, etc. are all examples of this. So if you think that a repeat will suffice (even if it was a couple of years ago), you deserve the stink eye and words that will follow….for weeks.
Copycat -25 points
5. Your cell phone is not that important – You can be the busiest, most important person in the world, but everyone is entitled to one day off. Voicemail and caller ID were invented for a reason so let them do their job for today. If you answer your phone or respond to a text while you are spending time together, YOU WILL kill the mood.
Mr. “Romantic” -50 points
Take heed of these words guys. I will leave you with this piece of advice. “What you won’t do for your woman…another man will.”